


Anamnesis

by phenomanon



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Prompt Fic, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23914006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phenomanon/pseuds/phenomanon
Summary: Greg loves the lines around Nick's eyes. Prompt fic via writing-ideas-inc tumblr (Lynn)
Relationships: Greg Sanders & Nick Stokes, Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Anamnesis

_“They say that when you fall in love with someone, fall in love with their eyes because eyes won’t age. They’ll always be beautiful.”_

_“Not if you get cataracts.”_

“Supposed to be poetic, G.”

“Just sayin’ Nick. Since we’re both scientists and all.”

“Says the scientist who claims he’s psychic and can talk to animals.”

“No, I said _Nana Olaf_ was psychic so there’s a high chance I’ve inherited her insight. And I didn’t say I could talk to animals—I said they talk to me.”

Placing a few sample bags on the counter, Nick gave Greg a helpless grin as he attempted to analyze that crazy brain of his. Then again, this was the guy that tested his date’s DNA in the city’s crime lab, so there probably wasn’t much use in trying.

“Well I hope whoever falls in love with you doesn’t mind your cataracts.” 

“I have 20/20 vision Nick, don’t jinx me! Also eyes are nice and all…but I’m more of an ‘ _around the eyes_ ’ kinda guy.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love me a pair of deep blue or green eyes I can get lost in. But I prefer what’s _around_ them more than what’s _in_ them. You know, creases, lines, folds, stuff like that. Gives a person character.”

“Yeah don’t let Catherine hear you say that.”

“I’m serious. Anyone can have beautiful eyes, but the real treasure lies in what’s around them. Like does the skin around their eyes suggest they’ve experienced some sort of hardship? Do the corner of their eyes crinkle when they laugh? When they smile, do their lids fold over in a cute way?”

Leave it to Greg to ask the real questions.

“All right I get what you’re sayin’. I guess that all sounds nice too.”

“So far, you tick all the boxes.”

“Hm?”

“You don’t even realize it, but you wear the skin around your eyes like a badge of honor representing all the things you’ve been through, and it’s endearing. Sometimes I try and make you laugh just for a chance to see the crow’s feet that are forever etched into your persona. And when you smile, like _really smile_ , your lids fold over in this distinct way that I can’t explain. That’s how I know you’re being genuine instead of just being nice.”

One of the things Nick feared most in life was being known; feeling exposed and appearing vulnerable. That’s why he always tried to stay one step ahead of everything and cover his tracks, but perhaps Nick was more obvious than he led on. 

“Figured me out, huh?”

“I’d like to one day. If you’d let me.”

———

“No! No…Stop!”

Through labored breathing and tears, Nick returned to his fractured consciousness as the flashback began to fade.

“Sir, you are the one who authorized us to delete this specific memory.”

“I know but I change my mind…I can’t…I don’t want to delete it.”

“You may have already sustained minor damage from us accessing this memory. Is this still okay with you?”

“What’s the point of living a life where I erase everything that hurts? Will I ever know myself?”

“As we explained in the consultation, how cognitive memory functions is different for every person. Generally we use our past experiences to determine our future, but memory is fragile and unreliable. You could very well misremember something and believe it as absolute truth, without us having to modify it for you.”

“This isn’t one of those cases though. I know this conversation happened because it’s the only thing I have left.”

“If you wish to terminate the session, you will have to sign some release forms.”

“Give ‘em to me.”

The doctor that was monitoring Nick left to retrieve the additional paperwork while Nick briefly closed his eyes and tried to connect what was left of his shattered memories. He could only see bits and pieces of moments, muffled sound bites and instances painted in colors he wasn’t sure existed. A soft texture of a hand and sweater from the past mingling with the scent of a freshly baked pie from many winters ago. Or was it last winter? Nick couldn’t quite remember, but he wanted to.

He wondered how Greg was doing, if he had moved on and ended up with someone he really loved. Maybe even relocated to somewhere new. Finally settled down, adopted a dog like Greg had always wanted, and dyed his hair back to its natural oaky roots. Selfishly Nick hoped that once in awhile Greg thought about him too.

“Okay Mr. Stokes, please sign here and initial these boxes. Then you’re good to go.”

“Thank you Dr. Munin.”

“Certainly. What will you do now?”

“There’s a long overdue phone call I need to make.”


End file.
